FMALotR crossover fun!
by junodog
Summary: Edward Elric randomly finds himself in Middle Earth and joins the Fellowship of the Ring because he's just that awesome. Very cracktastic. mangabased.
1. Chapter 1

As a warning, this fan fiction is mostly crack, with some serious bits thrown in just because I started this with the intention of it being serious and then got very lazy… and I may work on it some more later, but for now, this is it. I'm not going to lie to you, though, there's not much of a chance of me doing much more than what I have.

"How did he get here, I wonder?"

"Is he still alive?"

"Of course he's still alive, you twit. He's breathing, isn't he?"

"How was I supposed to know that? Anyway, he hasn't moved for hours. Shouldn't he have moved by now?"

"Not if he's unconscious. He could have been hit very hard in the head."

"Should we wake him up?"

"I don't know… that might be a bad idea."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then, why not? He can always sleep later."

"True…"

"Hey, wake up! WAKE UP!"

Edward Elric woke up to a bucket of water being dumped on his head. He sat up right away, with a look of surprise on his face. Then, he looked around. There were four people sitting around him, looking at him like he was an alien.

"Who are you?" one of them asked. "And how did you end up here?"

Ed looked at the person with some confusion. "My name's Edward. Edward Elric."

"How did you get here, Edward?"

"I have no idea."

"You mean you don't remember?"

"No."

"Where are you from?"

"Eh? I don't really have a home or anything, I just travel around all the time with my brother."

"But what country are you from? You can't be from around here."

"What country? I'm from Amestris…"

"And where's that?"

Ed scratched his head. "Ummm, well… Where am I, exactly?"

Ed heard footsteps behind him, and turned around. There were three people standing there, a fairly normal-looking man, a man with long blonde hair who looked fairly different from the average human, and a person who was shorter than Ed. It took a lot of self-restraint on Ed's part to not cry out with joy to the heavens.

The first man looked at the others. "Why is he wet?"

Ed immediately liked that guy. He looked over at the ones who were responsible for the absurd amount of water absorbed by his coat. Then he realized something. Those four were absurdly short as well. Ed realized at that moment, they weren't human. His joy at finding people smaller than him faded.

Then Ed realized something else. They were all wearing medieval-ish clothing, plus they talked funny. Either this was a very well organized prank, or he wasn't anywhere near Amestris.

Before they could say anything else, someone else ran up. He glanced at Ed for a second before turning to the one guy. He said one word. "Orcs!"

"Where?"

"Down there, there are many of them!"

Ed decided that this wouldn't be the best time to ask what an Orc was, considering that everybody looked fairly upset about their appearance. He stood up and watched the one guy run off. One of the little people looked at Ed.

"Can you fight?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're going to have to very soon."

"Oh." Ed followed the others to a place where he could see the Orcs. They were ugly and huge, and they looked like they wanted to kill. _Just like those chimeras,_ Ed thought. Only, there were a lot of these things. It was doubtful that they could beat them so easily.

_Only one choice,_ Ed thought. "Hey, do you know much about alchemy?" he asked the guy next to him as they headed into the fray.

"No, I've never heard of that. Why do you ask?"

Ed clapped his hands and placed them on the ground. There was a flash of light, and a multitude of spikes emerged from the ground, impaling the Orcs in an instant. Only a few were left at this point, and they were defeated easily.

Aragorn couldn't believe his eyes. Where had those spikes come from, and why did they disappear so quickly? His question was soon answered as he walked over to Frodo and the boy they had found unconscious in the woods. Frodo was staring in amazement at the boy, who seemed to be the only one who wasn't amazed by the spikes.

"Did you do that?" he asked the boy.

"Yeah, I did," the boy replied. "I take it you've never seen alchemy before?"

_Alchemy?_ "No, I haven't. Is it a form of magic?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

At that moment, Gandalf came walking up. "It's quite impressive. How long have you been studying it?"

"Since about the time I learned to read, so about ten years now."

The boy seemed a tad uneasy, as if he wasn't proud of his abilities. Aragorn decided to change the subject by asking the boy for his name.

"Oh? I'm Edward Elric."

"Edward?"

"Yeah, although most people just call me Ed, or Fullmetal."

"Fullmetal?"

"That's the title given to me by the military where I'm from, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

As they walked back to the camp, Legolas quietly observed the strange boy. He had to be human, he was too tall to be anything else, but he wasn't very tall, either. His eyes were strange as well. Legolas had rarely seen anything quite like them. Golden eyes were rare in Middle Earth.

Also, there was something strange about the boy's right arm and left leg. They moved normally enough, but they also had a strange quality, as if they weren't the limbs he was born with.

Ed realized that Legolas was curious, but he wasn't sure how these people would react to the concept of automail. He kept it hidden. There was no need to show it. If they found out, he could just explain it then.

They sat around for a while as everyone tried to figure out what to do about Ed's sudden and unexplained appearance. Everything they said went way over Ed's head until Gandalf realized that Ed was confused, and explained parts of the situation to him.

Blah blah blah boring stuff

Blah blah blah traveling and stuff

Before he could really understand what had happened, Ed found himself face-to-face with an orc. The ugly creature had a big sword, and he swung it at Ed menacingly.

Aragorn tried to help Ed, thinking that he wouldn't have time to transmute. He didn't make it in time, though. As he ran frantically towards the young alchemist, the orc brought the blade down on Ed. Then, the unthinkable happened.

Ed allowed the sword to hit his right arm. When it struck, it made a metallic sound, and Ed grinned. Then, with a swift movement, he grabbed the sword, pulled it toward him, ducked down, stuck out his left leg, and swept the orc's legs out from under it. Then Ed stood up, sword in hand, and stabbed the orc with a quick movement.

Once the fighting was over, Aragorn went over to Ed, who was looking at his sleeve with some concern. When Ed noticed Aragorn's presence, he dropped his arm.

"What is it?" Ed asked.

"That sword should have gone through your arm. Why didn't it?"

Ed sighed, and pulled up his sleeve, revealing something Aragorn really hadn't expected. Ed's arm was made entirely of metal. "It'd be pretty hard to cut through this, don't you think?"

Everyone was dumbfounded. This was definitely something nobody had ever seen before. The question was, how was that possible? Ed looked around, and pulled his sleeve down again.

"It's a replacement. I lost my arm and leg four years ago."

"How is that possible?" Boromir asked.

"I don't really know. My friend's the expert, not me."

"But what if it breaks?"

"Then I would have to get it replaced."

Blah blah blah more stuff

While they were on their way over the mountain pass, Ed really felt the disadvantage of having automail limbs. The metal weighed him down and caused him to constantly sink.

On one of these occasions, Ed fell face first into the snow. He silently cursed for being so clumsy. Not only did he have snow in his shirt, but he had also lost his gloves.

Legolas found them for Ed, who didn't waste any time while putting them on. Somehow, during this process, Ed managed to get his hand stuck on his cold metal arm.

Other than Ed, everybody found this amusing. They stopped to fix this slight problem, but that didn't stop Ed from feeling like an idiot. Plus, the snow in his shirt had melted and was running down his back. Needless to say, Ed was grateful when they got out of the snow.

(I don't care if this doesn't make sense) Sadly for Ed, Moria was a fairly cold place. So, when they got close to the city or whatever, Ed decided it was a good idea to lick his hand. Of course, we all know what happens when you stick your tongue to cold metal. Poor Ed ended up having to walk around with his hand on his face. He wasn't about to admit that he had made the same mistake again.

Of course, everybody knew what had happened, but nobody had the heart to say anything. It was also a good source of amusement. It wasn't every day you got to see something like that. It definitely lightened the mood.

While they were fighting, a sword pierced Ed's side right next to where his arm joined his body. He ignored the wound, but moments later he slipped on a conveniently placed banana peel and hit his head on a rock. Aragorn saw Ed on the ground and picked him up.

He had seen the wound briefly, but there was no time to take care of it. It would have to wait. He hoped that it wasn't too serious.

Moria stuffs………………………………

Once they got out, Aragorn took a moment to check on Ed. He pulled off Ed's coat and shirt, pausing for a moment to observe how his right arm was connected to his body. It looked complicated. He went back to the matter at hand.

From the looks of things, Ed had lost a lot of blood. He would live, but it would take a while for him to recover. Aragorn bound the wound before noticing a gash on Ed's forehead. As he wrapped that up, he saw a scar next to the wound.

Legolas came over as Aragorn finished. He looked down at Ed's face for a moment.

"We need to go."

"Right." Aragorn pulled Ed's shirt back on and they headed out.

Upon entering Lothlorien and meeting Haldir and stuff, Ed was still out cold. Haldir glanced at the young boy as they went wherever.

"Is he ever going to wake up?"

Aragorn looked down at Ed. He looked peaceful, something that wouldn't ever happen while he was awake. His wounds had been readied, so just about everybody knew about his arm now.

"It should be soon," he replied.

"Who's going to tell him?"

"I will."

While they waited, blah blah blah blah dramatic stuffs.

They came very suddenly. Ed found himself fighting alongside Merry & Pippin. He constantly found himself not having time to transmute. The only thing he managed to do was make a blade on his arm, and even that had put him at risk.

It took a while for Ed to realize that they weren't trying to kill him. He risked a glance at the others and found them in the same situation. He grinned. They could use this as an advantage.

Before he could come up with a plan, Ed was thrown against a tree. Almost immediately a wave of pain coursed through his body. He couldn't move for a moment, during which several things happened: Boromir fell, the three of them were caught, and Ryuichi Sakuma went running by with Shuichi Shindo. Ed watched the two out-of-place characters run by as he was captured, all the while thinking WTF?

They pulled his arm off. First they were all like "get rid of that blade" and Ed was all like "OMFG IT'S SHUICHI" and he was knocked out cuz the orcs weren't cool enough to see Shuichi's bright pink hair. Since Ed was lacking in the whole consciousness area, he couldn't get rid of the blade.

They only realized it could be taken off when Shuichi was all like "Look you can take his arm off!" They pulled it off, and one of the orcs draped Ed over his shoulders.

Ed woke up when he was dropped on the ground. He wasn't tied up, which came as a shock until he realized he only had one arm.

He held a whispered conversation with Merry and Pippin that went along these lines:

Ed: why do they just want us?

Merry: maybe because a hobbit had the ring?

Ed: are you calling me a hobbit?

Merry: no, but you are pretty small for a human. It's an easy mistake to make in your case.

Ed: I'M NOT THAT SMALL!!!!!!

Then a random orc came over and kicked Ed in the stomach. "Be quiet, gold-eyes, or we'll take your leg off!"

Then the Riders of Rohan came to save the day. Blah blah blah Ed runs into the forest with Merry and Pippin.

Team Aragorn finally arrived at the site where the orcs were killed. Aragorn looked around, and saw a familiar glint in the pile. He looked closer. It was an arm made of steel.

Fearing the worst, he gently pulled on the arm – and it came out easily. There was no body attached. That gave him hope. Ed was probably alive, albeit unarmed (sorry).

Then he found that there was a trail leading into the forest. Ed's shoes left a distinct trail, although their marks were lighter now. Considering how heavy Ed's arm was, Aragorn wasn't surprised. No wonder he was so short.

Ed ran through the forest with Merry and Pippin. Once he thought they were safe, Ed stopped and pulled his coat further over his right shoulder.

"So… what now?" he asked.

Before he got an answer, there was a noise from behind. Ed stared in that direction as he saw an orc come into view. Since Ed was tired, he didn't see much of a chance of defeating it, so they did the only thing they could: run away.

Ed didn't get far. He tripped as they hid behind a tree, and got up only to have a blade pressed against his throat. The orc said some scary things, but Ed wasn't paying attention to that. Instead, he was paying attention to the giant moving tree that stepped on the orc seconds later.

The theory that Ed had been mistaken for a hobbit was thoroughly crushed when the tree treated him like a human. Only he wasn't a tree, he was an Ent. Ed walked, or rather, ran, alongside him as he tried to convince Treebeard that Merry and Pippin weren't orcs. After a while, Treebeard stopped.

"You're sure they're not orcs?"

"Of course I'm sure. They're my friends," Ed replied, glaring at Treebeard.

"Your eyes are not those of a liar, but still…"

"What?"

His question was answered after a moment, when Treebeard dropped the two in front of someone. Then they all recognized the guy and had a big party.

Ed decided to stay with Gandalf and wait for the others. He really wanted his arm back. Without it, he felt useless, which didn't feel good, especially with so much at stake.

He sat leaning against a rock, his arm across his knees. It was eerily quiet, and Ed felt a bit awkward for a long time. Finally, Gandalf broke the silence.

"How did you get that scar on your forehead?"

Ed pointed at his head in confusion. Then he remembered that Scar had scarred him (ha ha another bad pun) during their last fight. "It's… well… uh…" He really didn't want to think about that encounter. _Wait… My limbs are made of metal, why does he care more about a tiny scar like this?_

As if he could read Ed's mind, uh, I forget what I was gonna put here…

Ed walked next to Aragorn on the way to Helm's Deep. He was considerably nervous, since he knew there was a good chance of a battle breaking out there. Fighting against orcs was fine with him, but fighting against mass amounts of them… the idea bothered Ed a great deal.

There was a crash behind them. Ed looked back and saw several people standing around a broken cart. Ed exchanged glances with Aragorn, who nodded. Ed walked over to the broken cart and fixed it with alchemy. The people around were fairly surprised, but nobody said anything. They thanked Ed and continued.

After a while, Ed tripped. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Ed landed on his face in front of a very large audience. He hit the ground just as there was a cry ahead. Somebody had spotted an enemy.

Ed got up quickly, ignoring the scratch on his face. He checked to see what was going on, but before he could really understand anything, he felt a hand on the back of his shirt. A second later, he was riding on the back of Aragorn's horse.

"What happened?" Ed asked.

"Someone's attacking the ones up front."

"What?"

"Are you willing to fight?"

"Of course I am!"

"Good."

As soon as they were in the midst of the fight, Ed jumped off of the horse. He landed fairly gracefully, clapped his hands together, and formed a blade on his right arm. With it he stabbed the nearest wolf-thingy, causing the rider to go flying. The orc approached Ed menacingly spear in hand. He lunged towards the young alchemist, who brought his hands together, grabbed the front end of the spear with his right hand, and used alchemy to destroy the spear. He used the following moment of confusion to run up to the orc and bring his blade down.

After he had gotten that one out of the way, Ed heard a cry. He turned around sharply to see a warrior about to be killed. Without thinking, Ed used a nearby spear to launch himself into the air. On the way down, Ed pointed the spear at the orc, and used alchemy to lengthen it, which gave the orc less time to react.

The fight continued for a while, but finally they managed to drive the enemy away. Ed looked around to make sure his friends had made it through. He felt sick when he saw Legolas and Gimli looking over the edge of a cliff. There would only be one reason for them to stare so intently.

Finally, they turned away from the cliff. Ed looked at Legolas as he passed by. The look in his eyes confirmed what Ed feared. Aragorn had fallen.

Legolas watched the small alchemist trudging along. There had been no need to explain to him what had happened. He had figured it out pretty quickly on his own.

Blah blah blah dramatic stuff

Ed stood by the wall, waiting for night to come. He had only just woken up, and after being forced to wear chain mail, Ed had been sent down to help check for weak points within the wall, and fix them. Ed had followed the length of the wall, and hadn't found any problems. Now, he didn't know what to do, other than to wait.

After a while, he heard a commotion from the keep. He walked over, not knowing what to expect. Before he reached his destination, somebody stopped him.

"Are you finished?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah… What's going on?"

"We have new allies."

Ed blinked. This was an interesting turn of events. Who would be able to come this soon?

That question was soon answered as Aragorn came walking up, accompanied by Haldir. The elf nodded politely at Ed, who… ummm…

They waited in silence for the orc army to arrive. Ed stood next to Legolas, shifting uncomfortably. He had never worn chain mail in his life, and now he had a good reason not to.

"This is your first real battle, isn't it?" Legolas asked.

"It is. I mean, my country was always at war, but I was never directly a part of it. I know a lot of people who've experienced this, only for them it was a completely different case."

"What do you mean?"

"It was more of a civil war. A group of people saw alchemy as a sin against God, so there were uprisings, and eventually most of them were wiped out."

"Because of their beliefs?"

"Partly. The actual rebellion only started when a soldier shot a child. Everything went to hell from there."

"Why would somebody want to shoot a child?"

"Well, they passed it off as an accident, but the truth is, the person responsible was _trying_ to start something."

"But why would they want to something like that to happen?"

"I still don't really know. I have a guess, but other than that…" Ed trailed off as he saw something in the distance. It was a massive amount of torches and (obviously) orcs. Ed curled his right hand into a fist as they advanced.

Ed tried to keep his cool and concentrated on finding a good way to do as much damage as possible without completely exhausting himself. There was not much of a chance of getting rid of all of them, but he could take out a fairly large amount if he planned it right.

Then he got a stroke of genius. Ed told Legolas what he had in mind and waited until the battle had officially started. Then he ran down the stairs and stopped by the small drain, out of view of the enemy. Ed didn't want to venture into view unless he could be sure that nobody could see him.

He clapped his hands together and placed them on the ground. On the other side of the wall, the ground turned into sheer mud, which threw the enemy off a great deal. Once their movement was restricted enough, Ed transmuted the traces of metal in the ground into spikes. The spikes pierced any creature unlucky enough to be in their way.

Ed risked a glance through the drain. He had taken out a decent chunk of the army, but there were still thousands out there, and they were getting closer. Ed sighed, and tried to think of something else to do. He couldn't transmute the ground close to the wall. That could cause instabilities in the structure. He cursed, wishing that he had spent more time learning about the structure of the building.

Ed gave up with trying to come up with a plan and returned to the wall. He would be in more danger there, but he could do more damage if he could see what they were dealing with. There were already some orcs making their way onto the wall, and Ed could see Gimli and Legolas fighting, and arguing about their number of kills, in the distance.

Ed took a second to debate whether he should make a blade on his arm, and then remembered that these elves most likely knew about his arm. He hadn't exactly been able to hide it. He clapped his hands together, formed a blade, and jumped into the fray. He cut down several orcs before he noticed that Aragorn was in danger. There was an orc right behind him, about to cut his head off.

Ed ducked under another orc's attack and thrust his blade forward. It went all the way through the orc. As he pulled the blade out, the orc dropped to the ground. Ed saw the look of surprise on Aragorn's face and decided to ignore it. There were more important things to do.

Aragorn went to fight alongside the young alchemist. Something was bothering him. He had seen the effects of alchemy on the orc army. It had been drastic. Why was Ed up here now?

After a while, Aragorn had the opportunity to ask about Ed's change of mind.

"There wasn't much I could do down there. They're too close."

"Is there anything else you can do other than fight?"

"I'm thinking. Right now I'm just about out of ideas."

"How many ideas did you have to begin with?"

Even though he was fighting, Ed's face showed deep embarrassment. "Just one. I almost have another one though."

"Almost?"

"There's one teensy little problem with this plan."

"Which is?"

There was a small lull in the action. Ed used this small break to look over at the absurd amount of orcs left to fight.

"Never mind. I've got it figured out." Ed ran back to the stairs and made his way down. Aragorn followed, realizing that Ed needed to focus his energy on alchemy. It would be considerably easier if he didn't have to worry about being attacked.

Aragorn watched as Ed brought his hands together. He couldn't see what was happening on the other side of the wall, but from what he heard from above, it must have been impressive. Ed stood up. Blah blah more dramatic stuffs.


	2. Chapter 2

HA! I _AM_ CONTINUING WITH THIS FANFIC! I bet you all thought I wouldn't, didn't you:P

So… here we go… trying to write this again…

Ed was about to transmute something big again when he saw something startling. The orcs were bringing a bomb. Ed thought for what seemed like an eternity, trying to predict what the contents of the bomb would be. After a moment, he clapped his hands and placed them on the ground, sending a wave of earth toward the bomb and knocking it over. He looked back up at the wall. Luckily, Ed's transmutation hadn't affected anything.

He breathed a sigh of relief just as an orc came running up with a torch. Then there was a big boom and Ed was sent flying. When he landed, Ed looked up at the wall. Instead of blowing a hole in it, the bomb had caused the wall to collapse, which helped the orcs very little. Ed struggled to his feet and ran forward. His chest was burning, but he ignored it. He wasn't bleeding, and that was the most important thing to him.

He could hear someone calling out his name. Ed looked to see Aragorn running toward him. The older man gestured to the wall. "What happened?"

"They had a bomb or something. I managed to prevent it from doing too much damage, but…"

"As long as they can't come in without ladders, we'll manage. Are you all right?"

Ed nodded. His chest still ached from hitting the ground, but it was getting better.

"Good. Can you do something about the wall?"

"Yeah, probably." Ed ran forward and climbed up the mess of stone with surprising ease. Once at the top, he brought his hands together and placed them on the stone. The wall began to reform underneath him. It was almost complete when Ed was struck by an arrow, just next to where his automail connected to his body. He fell back, more in surprise than anything else, and the transmutation ceased. Aragorn went to help him, but before he could get near the alchemist, Ed brought his hands together once again and finished what he had started.

Once he had finished, Ed fell to the ground, unconscious and muttering something about daisies. Aragorn ran up to him and carried him away from the wall. He handed the small alchemist over to a waiting soldier. "Don't question his limbs," he said to the man before running back to the fight.

Dramatic fight stuffs……

Ed was in a daze. He looked around, trying to understand what was going on. Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, which drew Ed's attention to the arrow sticking out of his body. Ed tried to bring his left hand over to it, but someone gently pushed it down.

"Don't worry. You'll be all right. You were lucky, Fullmetal."

Ed blinked at the use of his second name. He looked back over at the arrow. A pair of hands gripped it tightly. Ed knew what was coming. He braced himself as the hands pulled, ripping the arrow from his body. Ed managed not to scream, but his shoulder was in intense pain. He drifted in and out of consciousness as someone began bandaging the wound. He could hear them talking about him.

"A golden eyed boy with a metal arm. I never thought I'd see something so strange as this."

"I wonder if it pains him."

"If he stuck it over a fire for a while, then he could burn people with a single touch."

"That would be a good way to scare an enemy off."

"I wonder if he really is a human."

"That's what everyone says, but I doubt it's true."

Ed finally lost consciousness as the men came up with wild theories of what Ed really was. The worst one was when they called him a strange dwarf…

Blah blah blah Gandalf comes to save the day…

"So he managed to fix the wall," Gandalf said as he looked down at the unconscious alchemist.

"Yes. It gave us an advantage for a while, too. Fixing the wall caught them off guard, which gave us time to get rid of their ladders."

"How long has he been unconscious?"

"Since sometime after they got the arrow out. It's strange. They said he didn't make a sound all through that ordeal."

"You shouldn't be so surprised. That boy has always been strong. Although, there's something about him that puzzles me."

"How so?"

"His brother. We found him on our way here, and… Well, you'll understand once you meet him."

Aragorn looked back down at the child. Indeed, there had been something unusual about him from the beginning. Well, other than the fact that he just magically appeared in the middle of a field and just happened to be there when they passed by, but since that was an essential part of the fanfic's plot, he didn't think too hard about that.

When Aragorn met the armor-clad brother of the Fullmetal Alchemist, he didn't quite know what to say. Alphonse was taller than he was, when Edward was much shorter. Yet Ed claimed to be the eldest. He knew that Ed was honest, but to see such different brothers was startling.

He was all like WTF when it was revealed that Al had no body. And then he was like OMGLOL so _that's_ why you're taller than Ed, or something like that.

And then Al was like lol yeah, bro's not much for the milk.

Then Aragorn was like I like pie.

And Al was like WTF that's a random thing to say.

Then Aragorn was like don't blame me blame the writer.

And then I died.

ahem getting back to the story…

When Ed woke up, he was in a medium sized room that he presumed was part of that one place on that hill with the dudes and the king and all that… He looked around, not quite ready to move. When he looked to his right, he saw something interesting.

Al was sitting next to his brother, and he had gotten a random brush out and was gently combing Ed's hair.

"Um, Al?"

"What?"

"What's with the hairbrush?"

"Um… Your hair was a mess."

"Okay…"

"How's your shoulder?"

Ed moved his arm a bit. His shoulder erupted in pain, and he stopped moving. "Not so great. Hey wait, where did you come from?"

"Florida."

"What?"

"I came with that wizard guy. Don't know how I ended up here in the first place, though."

"Neither do I."

"Magic, maybe?"

"Sure, whatever. I don't really care."

"Brother!"

"I'm kidding! I'm too tired to think right now."

"Then go to sleep."

Ed nodded. "Yeah, good idea."

--------------

The next time Ed woke up, it was to Merry and Pippin staring at him. Once they saw that he was awake, the two stepped back, giving Ed a chance to sit up.

awkward silence

"So… we're going to go somewhere else now," Merry said.

"That's nice," Ed replied, not really paying attention to the fact that his arm was somehow being used as a toaster. When he did notice, some random kid took the toast and ran off, and Ed's arm returned to normal.

"I think you're staying here with us," Merry continued. "Pippin's going to Gondor."

Ed wondered vaguely why there was a palm tree at the other end of the room, but he nodded. "Okay."

"Um… how's your shoulder?"

"Fine."

"Is it true you were raised by dinosaurs?" Pippin asked.

Ed stared at him. "Um… what?"

"Oh, sorry. Bad timing, eh?"

"Wait, what?" Ed asked.

"You did what with whose mom?" Merry asked.

"Why aren't you paying any attention to me?" Envy shouted from across the room.

Ed threw a pancake and hit Envy in the face. Envy disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Okay, so think you can get up and go see everyone else now?" Merry asked.

Ed stood up. "Yeah."

MOAR DRAMATIC STUFFS…

"Ed, why don't you have a sword?"

Ed looked over and transmuted a blade from his arm to answer Aragorn's question. Aragorn looked at it for a moment before speaking again. "Is that what you always use?"

"Usually."

"But what if you can't use alchemy?"

Ed sighed. "That would only happen if my arm were missing, and if my arm were missing then I would have more problems than just not being to use alchemy."

"Oh…" Aragorn paused. "How often does that happen?"

"Brother breaks his arm a lot," Al quipped from where he was sitting.

"Really?"

Al nodded. "One time it was completely destroyed and he had to get a new one made from scratch."

"That wasn't my fault," Ed snapped.

"Yeah, I guess that's true…" Al muttered.

"Wait, how did you manage to completely destroy it?" Aragorn asked.

Ed looked at the ground for a moment. "Someone was trying to kill me."

Awkward silence

"You really aren't like anyone else I've met," Aragorn remarked as he got up and went off to do other stuff.


End file.
